Me, Myself and Everyone Else

Since I can remember I've never wanted to upset or offend anyone. Even people I can't stand or people who have hurt me. I've always tried to be empathetic and see it from their point of view and how I imagine it would make them feel. I want to be nice to people, well not everybody but those that I don't like I at least don't want to be mean to. Why? If I'm worried about other people I don't have to worry about myself.


Is it really that wrong to think about yourself from time to time and stand up to those who only think about themselves? I need to get more guts. If I actually stood up against other peoples over-selfishness then maybe that'd help them think of others a bit more. It's about balance. A lot of people, such as myself need to think about themselves more. The important thing about thinking about yourself is not to be self-obsessed. Self obsessed people are miserable and bitter. However a little bit of selfishness is essential to being happy, as is being concious and considerate about the people around you. 


I'm a nurse and i do love it, but sometimes dedicating every bit of yourself  to others can drain so much out of you. It's my job to help others, I need to learn to separate that from the world outside. IT'S A JOB and I have my own life outside that, a place that I'm actually allowed to care for MYSELF. I think this obsession with other peoples happiness and well being is probably subconsciously why I chose to become a nurse. I have learnt from it and following that path is probably why I'm writing this now. It's a profession with as many smiles as there are tears. In a way, because of it I have started to realise that we have to make the most of our lives for ourselves. Thinking about ourselves once in a while can really be of benefit to other people. Our own happiness can help other people be happy.


Writing this down makes it sound so easy to do, but in real life it's bloody hard. I want people to like me, I don't want people to see me in a negative way. In life we tend to remember the downs more than the ups and I don't want to be remembered by someone I don't know as part of their downs. I try so hard to be a positive aspect of other peoples lives that it makes it tough to think positive about myself. If I am a naturally caring and nice person then surely I should believe that and should be able to see the good in myself and not concentrate completely on what other people MIGHT think of me.

Avoiding things sometimes seems like a good thing to do, but in reality it's stupid. I'm starting to realise its ok to think about ME. Its time to kick myself in the arse and understand that I'm the most important thing in my own life, and that caring about other people is something that I want to do and that makes me happy, and not something I HAVE to do to make me "happy".


It's time to concentrate on me, but that doesn't mean I won't have time for other people.